90 Day Fiancé - Where did Big Ed go wrong?

If there was ever an example of how not to have a relationship with a Filipina, it's Big Ed from 90 Day Fiancé. In the now famous (and meme-worthy) series, Californian "Big Ed" flew to the Philippines to meet his online girlfriend, Rose Vega. Over the next few days, he continually disrespected Rose, her family, and her culture. Here are some lessons that can be learned from his mistakes:

Respect your partner's past

A recurring theme throughout the series is Ed's suspicion about Rose's previous relationships. Despite Rose making it clear that she was uncomfortable talking about her past, Ed continues to push her, and eventually asks her to take an STD test in lieu of her revealing details about her life prior to meeting him. Whilst it's important to share as much about yourself as possible in a relationship, it's also important to respect someone's boundaries - especially when the relationship is new. Many people have "baggage" from their past. For some, this can include a lot of trauma. Pushing someone to reveal this information too soon can lead to insecurity and may even be triggering for some.

Be honest, always

From the start of the relationship, it appears that Ed lied to Rose about a number of things. He lied about his height. He lied about wanting to have children with Rose (despite this being one of her biggest wishes for her relationship with Ed); and he lied about having a vasectomy. He did all of these things seemingly without batting an eyelid, and yet continuously treated Rose with suspicion about her own past. It goes without saying that honesty is important in any relationship.

Understand the country you're in

The Philippines is very different from Western countries like the USA and Great Britain. It's a developing country with, sadly, a lot of poverty. It's hot, humid, loud and busy. But it's also an incredibly exciting and beautiful country to be in; with a welcoming, friendly culture. Big Ed was clearly unprepared for visiting the Philippines. He complained tirelessly about the weather, the conditions that Rose lived in (e.g. sleeping on a mattress on the floor), the animals and the noise. If you're going to visit the Philippines to spend time with that special someone, be open-minded to living in a land and culture that is different from where you normally live.

Learn some Tagalog

Nobody expects you to be fluent in Tagalog in time for your first visit to the Philippines. It's a difficult language to learn. One of the funniest exchanges between Big Ed and Rose is when (after an argument), Rose yells "pangit mo!" (Tagalog for "you're ugly"), to which Ed replies "I hope that means I love you!" As amusing as it is to watch the exchange, it highlights the language barrier that can occur between a Filipina and a foreigner. Filipinos are proud of their culture and language, and showing that you know even a few basic words and phrases in Tagalog will go a long way to helping you blend with your partner's friends and family.

Kids come first

Despite promising to spend time with both Rose and her young son Prince, Big Ed ends up whipping Rose away from her son as fast as possible, in order to take her on a romantic trip to Palawan. If your partner has children, take the time to bond with them as well as your partner. If you're going to commit to someone who already has children, you're committing to the children as well.

Honestly, we could go on for pages about the trainwreck that is Big Ed and Rose - it was great TV! The important thing to remember, however, is that Ed is an example of what not to do when dating a Filipina.